My grandmother loved to send handwritten thank-you notes to everyone in her life.
She died in December. At her funeral, my mom asked everyone in attendance to raise a hand if they had ever received a note from my grandmother. Every single person lifted their arm high in the air.
Her letters always touched me and helped me feel special, so I passed her idea on to my students. I’m a professor, and I’ve taught many journalism and introductory media writing courses at several universities.
Earlier this semester, I asked my undergraduate students to draft a brief thank-you note to someone who did something nice for them. The results surprised me.
The letters my students wrote moved me
When I came up with the assignment for my students, I was looking for a way to get them to just write — and to write conversationally. I gave them the option of using pen and paper or their computers. Either way, I knew an open-ended free rewrite might overwhelm them, so I provided the thank-you note prompt.
One student thanked a family friend for their care package after her appendectomy: “The sleeping mask and blanket have granted me the coziest sleep in my recovery.”
Another student thanked her friend for helping her carry her bags from the car to the dorm in the snow. “Without your help, I would have had to make multiple trips in the cold weather with several heavy bags all on my own,” she wrote.
But I think my favorite thank you note was about a mirror. The student thanked his brother for buying him a full-size mirror for Christmas. Previously, he had to go into their parents’ bedroom to use theirs.
“Now I don’t even need to step a foot out of my room. I appreciate the thoughtful gift.”
The letters showed me a new side to my students
The writing drill definitely renewed my faith in young people. I realized they can be thoughtful and gracious.
People like to rag on students, and sometimes they deserve it. But most of the time these kids are just hanging on by a thread. They’re juggling school, jobs, internships, and their families.
I hoped my thank-you note exercise would reassure us that they could express themselves clearly. It turns out they can if given the right assignment and a little nudge.
When my grandmother sat down at her big, beautiful desk to write her thank-you notes, she wasn’t distracted. She had a singular goal: to let her friends and family know she was grateful for their gifts. Anyone who knew her will tell you she expected the same in return. When my students sat down with a similar goal, they were able to tap into that gratefulness.
I’m not sure if my students will remember this exercise next semester or the semester after that, but I hope they will slow down and take the time to craft a kind-hearted note the next time they need to thank a friend, boss, or family member. I hope they will show each other kindness — the same kindness they showed in my class.
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