- My coworkers had adult children my age and liked to bond by complaining about 20-somethings.
- As I was a new graduate in my early 20s, bonding that way was difficult; I felt like an outsider.
- Though, I did make friends with an older coworker who showed me respect.
My first team at the company I worked at right out of college was made up of people who were easily more than twice my age. It didn’t really faze me. Since I was fresh out of college, I figured it was natural to be a little young compared to the rest.
But I didn’t consider that my coworkers might not be quite so quick to dismiss our age gap.
My coworkers often talked poorly of young people and seemed to ignore that I was one of them. This went on for years.
The focus on age made it difficult for me to earn my team’s respect and have my input taken seriously.
My coworkers disparaged young people in a meeting
On one particularly memorable morning, my teammates got sidetracked from a meeting to complain about their children. They all had at least one adult child my age. They spent a solid 20 minutes making generalized statements about how “helpless” 20-somethings were.
I spent most of the meeting exchanging sidelong looks with the latest editorial intern. When my teammates seemed to remember that two 20-somethings were present, they assured us that they didn’t mean us, just all others our age.
This became a regular occurrence, and there was really no way for me to participate respectfully. I couldn’t exactly compare myself to their kids while trying to be taken seriously as a coworker.
The one time I tried to bond by contributing a story about my mother, the team members thought I was trying to make them feel “old.”
Most of my interactions in the office made it difficult to connect. I felt like an outsider. Perhaps most importantly, I struggled to earn their respect — in meetings and on projects.
I became friends with one older coworker
Throughout my time at the company, I worked primarily with people who were older than me. But the experience was vastly different depending on the team I was on.
Once, a close Gen X friend of mine was telling a story from his college days, and I realized my mother had told me a similar story. While he could have gotten weird about discovering that he attended the university at the same time as my mother, it made our bond closer.
Similarly, I was able to offer advice regarding his daughter — who was about my age — from the perspective of someone at the same life stage.
Though we acknowledged the difference in our ages, it didn’t change how he treated me. To him, I was a peer and fellow professional. He treated me respectfully during our coffee chats and in group settings, and he never sat around bashing people my age.
While I didn’t have the best experience at the company, I wouldn’t change the experience of working with teammates of different ages.
These days, I try to find workplaces that are both multigenerational and respectful of younger workers’ skills.
Anna Wenner is a freelance writer based in the Kansas City metropolitan area.
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