- My husband and I met at the gym, and we celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary this year.
- Fitness is still a major part of our relationship, creating a shared interest.
- That shared interest has made us a stronger couple and better parents to our two kids.
Nearly 15 years ago, I met my husband in a gym class. We both worked in London and used to go to early pre-work classes. After a few limited conversations in spin and circuits classes, my husband, Julien, asked me out, and we began dating.
At the time, I didn’t think our shared interest in exercise would be important to our relationship. Yes, it was an unusual story to tell people when they asked how we met, but I didn’t think it was any more significant than that.
However, as we’re about to celebrate our 13th year of marriage, I honestly believe our commitment to fitness and exercise has been a fundamental component of our relationship. Shared interests allow us to mutually understand each other and offer respect for each other’s perspectives and preferences.
Our love for fitness makes us a stronger couple
Relationship psychotherapist Dipti Tait told me that couples should share interests and engage in combined hobbies.
“Our brains release oxytocin — often referred to as the ‘bonding hormone’ — when we experience pleasure and connection with others,” Tait said. “Participating in mutual activities activates this release, deepening emotional intimacy and reinforcing trust.”
I can definitely see that in my relationship. As Julien and I are both active, I think it creates mutual support for one another. If we don’t exercise for a few days, even on holiday, we both get a bit twitchy and unsettled. Therefore, if one of us says we need to take an hour to work out, the other person completely understands.
Psychotherapist Karen Hartley confirmed this. She told me, “Having shared values encourages couples to build trust and communication skills. As you seek help and support for your hobbies, you teach yourself to rely on your partner in other areas of your life.”
Beyond building trust, our love of exercise has also brought us new and unique experiences. We’ve taken HIIT classes in St. Lucia and Turkey, completed various cross-country runs, and participated in sponsored cycle events. All of these experiences have given us memories and — quite often — laughter when we reminisce.
“Shared interests often strengthen relationships as they disclose a lot about your partner and add an extra layer of enjoyment and excitement to your relationships,” Hartley said.
We’re also better parents because of our fitness
Since we understand each other’s need for exercise, my partner and I take a unique parenting approach. We rely on each other as a team.
When one person has to step away to go for a run or take an exercise class, the other takes on the parenting duties. There’s no resentment that the other person is getting time off because we appreciate the need to take a break or destress. We trust that the other person really needs that exercise.
This means our kids almost always have a present, satisfied parent.
This passion for exercise also extends to our children — two boys who are 11 and almost 10. They’re both very active. Maybe they would be like this regardless of who we are as parents, but I do think our lifestyle has influenced them — for the better.
For example, it’s normal for one of us to be out exercising first thing in the morning so they see the importance we attach to our workouts.
Hopefully, our commitment to physical health and movement shows my kids the benefits of regular exercise.
Fitness will always be part of our lives
As we age and spend more time together, our workouts will likely become less physically challenging and more about activities that keep us moving.
Tait said this can only be positive: “When couples invest time in shared hobbies, they aren’t just enjoying each other’s company, they are strengthening the neurological and emotional bonds that make relationships resilient, fulfilling, and enduring.”
Hartley built on this idea of resilience by explaining, “Relationships founded on shared values tend to have greater long-term satisfaction and success.”
Our marriage isn’t perfect, but I’m grateful for our shared enthusiasm for fitness. It’s made us stronger — in more ways than one.
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