- When Charlotte Page left college, she worked remotely and struggled to make friends.
- Ballroom dancing has given her a social life and improved her physical and mental health.
- She was nervous to start but says her life is “100% better now.”
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Charlotte Page, a 24-year-old venture capitalist based primarily in Florida. It has been edited for length and clarity.
When I was at college at Harvard, I socialized at least three nights a week. But once the COVID lockdowns hit and I entered the workforce, that dropped down to zero.
I loved my job as a venture capitalist, but I started spending a lot more time alone than was healthy for me. Most of my friends were from work, but we weren’t often in the same place or able to socialize together because we worked remotely.
At the start of this year, I was living in New York City, and it was really challenging to find spaces to make friends because so much of my work was online. It was quite isolating.
When one of my college friends, who also lived in New York, took up dance, I went to see her compete. It seemed really fun and a great way to develop a friend group, so I decided to try ballroom dancing.
It completely changed my life and experience of living in New York because it gave me a sense of community and a third space. I found an activity that met not only my physical need to move daily, but also my need to socialize for my mental health.
I was nervous to start dancing, but it’s such a welcoming activity
There’s something inherently vulnerable about trying something new as an adult, and my gut was telling me: “You’re making a mistake, you’re going to mess it up.”
And because I’m plus size, I feared people wouldn’t want to dance with me and worried about what to wear. But I quickly realized that I didn’t need to worry. There were people of all body types in the class, and even if I had shown up in sneakers and jeans, I would’ve been OK.
There are a lot of dance styles that aren’t best suited for adult beginners, but ballroom isn’t one of them. Everything’s so adaptable. You can make all the steps more simple, or wear socks to help you slide better. You can do ballroom dancing if you’re in a wheelchair, too.
Most people start as adults, so everyone remembers how it feels to be a beginner, and wants you to feel really welcome. In the first group class I did, people were like, “Oh my goodness, I haven’t seen you here before. Is this your first group class? How did you start? Who was your introductory lesson with?”
I made friends quickly, even some best friends
I made friends in probably two or three weeks. Everyone was very friendly, and if anything, it was me who took a little longer to feel comfortable in classes and chatting with people. But you start to see a lot of the same faces again and again, and in each class, you change partners as you’re rotating around the room, so you’re going to meet everybody there pretty much.
Dance classes lend themselves to socializing outside the studio, too; people would suggest going for coffee before a morning class, or brunch, drinks, or dinner afterward.
It was my birthday about a month after I started dancing, and 15 or so people from the studio planned a dinner for me to celebrate after having only known me for a few weeks. That felt really special.
Ballroom dancing has made such a difference in my life and helped me find friends outside work. I met one of my best friends, who’s in his forties, and my business partners through dance. We’ve set up our own dance studio in Florida, Starpoint Dancesport.
Dancing is physically and mentally challenging — which I love
Dancing is such a fun, low-impact physical activity. Being able to move after a long day of sitting at work and really let loose is just so nice. I would 100% say moving consistently has helped my health. I used to have knee pain which has improved so much, and my posture has completely changed.
It’s also mentally challenging, which I love. I have ADHD, and so the fact that I can be doing something with my body while also using my brain brings me such peace.
It’s pretty much 45 minutes where you have to have a good time. You’re listening to fun music, you’re learning something cool, and you’re moving your body, so you leave feeling great even if you walked in feeling really bad. And as someone who is prone to depression, having that everyday release that gives me a dopamine hit really did change my life.
My life is 100% better now. I have better friendships and even my romantic relationship with my partner has improved a ton. Finding fulfillment outside our relationship helped us feel more fulfilled inside it, too.
As someone who’s incredibly busy, having something that helps both my mental and physical health and provides socialization in one was perfect for me.
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