- Max Kalogirou, 29, has worked in childcare since he was 16.
- He’s been a nanny for just over four years.
- He’s not sure people will want to hire him as an older male nanny.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Max Kalogirou, an ambassador for Nannytax. It has been edited for length and clarity.
When I was 16, I started working at children’s birthday parties. I would help kids get on and off slides and rides and organize games. It wasn’t a typical job for a high school boy, but I loved it. Just seeing the joy on the kids’ faces was so fulfilling.
I started to think I’d like a career in childcare. I began an apprenticeship at Bright Horizons, a US-based day care chain that also operated in England, where I lived. That’s when I really fell in love with children. I worked with kids under 5. I liked seeing how curious they were about the world and being able to push them toward that curiosity. Watching them learn, develop, and grow was really rewarding.
The day care I worked at was unusual because three other men were working there, including the department manager. I’m glad I had that mentorship, but at the time, I wasn’t thinking about gender — I just knew I would enjoy a career taking care of kids.
I became a nanny just before becoming a dad unexpectedly
I worked in the day care from 2012 until 2020. My only negative experience was when a parent didn’t want me to change their baby girl’s diaper. My manager, a woman, stepped up for me and explained I was just like any other worker at the day care. It felt good knowing she had my back.
After eight years of the same routine, I wanted a change, so I started nannying. I did three months full-time and then got a big surprise: my ex-partner was pregnant, and I was going to be a dad. I pivoted to an ad-hoc nanny schedule to give me more flexibility.
My childcare experience helped me when I became a young dad. Most of all, I knew how to support my daughter’s mom. Caretaking felt natural, but I hadn’t had much experience with infants. Holding my daughter for the first time was like picking up a doll, and I was terrified.
I’m picky about the families I work with
Today, I work for five to 15 families a week. I might do a school drop-off, then spend a few hours looking after a newborn whose mom is on maternity leave. I’ll do after-school care and nighttime babysitting, and watch kids who are home sick from school. I like how this schedule gives me gaps in the day, to look after myself and my daughter, whom I have about 10 nights each month.
I’m lucky that I’m offered a lot of work, so I can be picky about the families I work with. I’ve worked with all sorts, from single parents in one-bedroom flats to celebrities who had non-disclosure agreements.
I’ve only been disrespected once by a very wealthy family. One of the parents swore at me, so I walked off the job. I want to be respected in my place of work. Now, within 10 minutes of meeting, I can tell whether a family is a good fit. I look for families with good communication skills, who are organized, and have respectful kids. I also look for parents who find genuine joy in their children.
I have no examples of older male nannies
Some people don’t want to work with me because I’m a male nanny, or manny, as I say. I used to think that was from ignorance, but I’ve realized it’s just a preference. I have parenting preferences for my own daughter, so I don’t take it personally.
Making friends as a male nanny has been difficult. Not everyone wanted to be social with me or the kids I nanny; some weren’t pleased that I was doing so well in this career. With time, though, I’ve found a core group of nanny friends.
I’m almost 30 and would like to continue nannying for another 15 or even 25 years. But I’ve never met another male nanny who is older than mid-30s. I can’t see anyone employing me when I’m 50, but at the same time, I can’t imagine doing another type of work.
There are no examples of an older male nanny, so I might need to be the first.
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