- Wendy Altschuler brought her three sons on a 70-mile hike along California’s John Muir Trail.
- Her oldest son put his first aid course to good use while helping his little brother.
- She wants to take advantage of the time she has while the kids are old enough to hike and she’s young enough to join them.
To be fair, if you were to ask my three teenagers right now if they liked schlepping all of their belongings on their back to hike so deep in the woods that they had zero connectivity on their cellphones, they would definitely say, “nope!”
Backpacking is hard, really hard, especially if it wasn’t your idea to go in the first place and your parents forced you to detox in nature against your will, far away from your friends and digital devices.
On one particular seven-night backpacking trip, where we section hiked for about 70 miles in the high sierras on California’s John Muir Trail — the magical land of 14,000-foot peaks, glacial lakes, and glittering slabs of granite — my boys, ages 11, 13, and 14, heard one of two things from nearly every hiker they met on the trail: “I wish my parents took me on a hike like this when I was your age,” and, “I wish I took my kids on a backpacking trip when they were little.”
I have always loved backpacking with my kids, and hopefully, one day, I’ll do it with my grandkids. I want to finish the rest of the 211-mile-long JMT with my sons.
It’s true: you can’t get these years back
There’s a sweet spot, an intersection when your kids are old enough to hike with some weight and you’re still healthy, strong, and young enough to tackle the excursion.
After all, it’s no easy feat to trek all day, set up camp, cook dinner, sleep on the ground, and then do it all over again the next day and the next.
So, why do I do it? Why drag kids up and over craggy mountaintops or through burly forests, where dangers like impending weather, wildlife, or injury could derail the journey you’ve been planning for months?
First off, hiking for multiple days in a row, carrying everything you need but nothing you don’t, is one of the best ways I know to truly connect with my family.
Without the distractions of smartphones, video games, school and work responsibilities, or other obligations, I’m able to delve into what really matters: carving out meaningful time for my boys.
In the same way that a company retreat can spark creativity by providing employees with a break from routine, our family hikes help us form stronger relationships without the distraction of day-to-day home life.
On our JMT backpacking trip, we cooked meals together, filtered and treated water, set up our tents, and marveled over the day’s explorations. One afternoon we spent hours inside our tents, waiting out a passing hailstorm — there was nothing to do but tell jokes, relax our tired bodies, make up songs, and listen to the thumping ice bounce off our tents.
Lessons learned
In the backcountry, after a long time spent casting and hoping, my oldest son caught, gutted, and cooked a fish. My middle son, educated about navigation and blazes, trekked a bit ahead on the trail by himself and ended up having propitious one-on-one time with a mule deer. And my youngest? He had to muster up the grit and resolve to keep up with his brothers and find joy in a demanding experience.
We all grappled with being uncomfortable, wet, hungry, and tired, and it was through these trials that we found out what we were truly made of.
In addition to securing permits, getting a satellite device for emergencies, and learning the ins and outs of the terrain, we did plenty of physical training to prepare for the JMT.
Not only did we go on shorter and easier backpacking trips, testing out our gear and adding muscle to our legs, but my husband also bought my boys Styrofoam airplanes so that they could run up and down a hill to launch and fetch the planes. They knew they were being “tricked” into exercising, but they did it on their own accord anyway.
My oldest took a first aid course, which proved useful when my youngest hurt his finger on the trail. Watching the pride stretch across my son’s face as he hopped into action and grabbed the kit out of his backpack to help his little brother was a highlight for me.
We found meaning in each experience
After we crossed our set finish line and went home, we learned to deeply appreciate all of the essential things that are easy to take for granted: a roof over our heads, clean running water, the warmth and softness of our own beds, and the freedom to eat what we wanted when we wanted.
There’s something about tackling a big challenge in nature, engaging in what our kids call “type two fun,” that births independence and maturity. Whether my boys realized it or not, they glowed on that trail. They learned how to be leaders, accountable, and responsible for themselves and those around them.
My boys also bonded with each other as they depended on each other for conversation, motivation, and support. More than anything, however, my guys learned that they are capable of tough things. They are much stronger than they thought possible. Now, when life throws challenges their way, they have something to draw strength from so they can move forward.
We consistently parrot to our boys this simple yet beautiful statement from Conan O’Brien: “If you work really hard and are kind, amazing things will happen.”
Got a personal essay about bonding with family that you want to share? Get in touch with the editor: akarplus@businessinsider.com.
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