Newsletter Thursday, November 21

I was 16 when my cellphone rang one Friday night as I stood in the parking lot of our local Blockbuster, arms full of DVDs. I rushed to answer, surprised to hear a nervous voice on the other end ask, “Is this Autumn?”

Little did I know, my physics lab partner had given my number to one of his friends. That night, Daniel showed up at my house for a movie night I was hosting with friends. He waited until everyone left and kissed me goodnight on my front porch; we didn’t even know each other’s names at that point, but I eventually ended up taking his.

Over the years, I’ve found that people have many assumptions about high school sweethearts. Boundaries seem to blur, and with wide eyes, people ask questions and make comments that sometimes catch me off guard. I’ve learned to expect them. I cherish the sweet ones and laugh at the bolder ones — the kind that would make my grandpa roll over in his grave.

We didn’t get married because I was pregnant

The most common assumption? We must have a house full of kids by now, with at least one in high school. I’ve done the math, and we could have a sophomore if we’d started early, which is crazy to think about! But the truth always surprises people. No, we didn’t get married due to a teen pregnancy, regardless of how many of our classmates took bets on it. In fact, we were among the last in our class to have a child. We welcomed our first little one just last year when we were both 34.

Living in the Bible Belt, getting married at a younger age is common due to religious reasons or family values. A handful of people have asked if we met on a mission trip and tied the knot as soon as we returned. Others think we got married to move in together without “living in sin.”

The truth? My husband grew up Christian, and I converted after we were married. We got engaged at 22, but I insisted on finishing college before walking down the aisle. We said our vows during spring break of our senior year, and I earned my degree a month later. So no, I wasn’t a teen bride.

We don’t have an open marriage

“You must be bored. Do you have an open marriage?” I’ve had this question or variations of it asked by a few people while I was in graduate school and by coworkers. I was offended the first time someone asked, but after that, I couldn’t help but find it funny.

No, we are not in an open marriage. We’re happily monogamous — and I, an only child, am not very good at sharing! Some think we can’t fully experience life because we have been with the same person for more than half our lives. But the truth is, we have more fun together because we know each other so well and trust each other completely. I promise, there are plenty of ways to keep boredom out of a marriage when you’re with the right person.

Meeting young means we have so many memories together

According to the norm, we did everything wrong. We were so young when we first met, yet we were drawn together. Over the years, we learned from each other through plenty of laughter, tears, and, yes, arguments.

We became best friends, holding a time capsule within each other filled with memories that most couples never get to share. Now 18 years later, we are married with a 1-year-old boy living a life I once dreamt of while sitting in our classes together. It’s as if our love story is something out of a fairytale, a rare and beautiful journey I’m blessed to live.



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