- Rob Archer is a psychologist and father of two based in London.
- He doesn’t plan on giving his children smartphones until they leave home.
- Archer is part of a nationwide parents pact that aims to delay giving children smartphones.
This as-told-to essay is based on a transcribed conversation with Rob Archer, a psychologist and father of two. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
As a psychologist who works in the areas of mental health and mental performance, I regularly hear horror stories about how technology is affecting children and teenagers.
I have two children, one 9-year-old and one 7-year-old, and I’m not planning to give them smartphones until they leave home.
I worry about three main things when it comes to children using smartphones.
Number one is addiction. The second issue is the opportunity cost. If the average child spends four to five hours of their day on a screen, that comes at the expense of other behaviors. Many teenagers have less sleep than they need because they’re doom-scrolling, for example.
The third issue is the content itself; I worry about things like violent porn and sextortion.
We have no idea who our children are speaking to online. It feels like the Wild West, and there’s very little you can do about that as a parent. You can try things like parental controls, but you’re fighting a battle that you’ll probably lose.
My kids won’t have smartphones unless there’s a massive change in the technology. I don’t want to expose them to any kind of addictive screen.
I don’t judge parents who already have given their children smartphones.
However, the data about the impact of this technology has changed over the last five or six years, and we know much more about how it affects our children.
In a way, I’m fortunate because of my kids’ ages — this new generation of parents has an advantage because we can make collective decisions based on the data coming through.
Collective action
I recently signed up for the Smartphone Free Childhood Pact, a group of parents who pledge to delay giving their children smartphones.
The idea behind the project is that you band together, first by district and then by school, with other parents who feel the same way. I think having a group has made people feel more emboldened and less alone. You realize it’s not just you thinking these things.
If your child is the only one in a class without a phone while everybody else has one, what can you do as a parent? You can’t resist it.
If everybody else in the class is using smartphones, your child will feel isolated. It will be almost unbearable for them.
It’s a collective action problem, but if we get at least five or six children in every classroom smartphone-free, it becomes possible for your child to resist having a phone.
Phone-free schools
In our particular school, we’ve got almost 100 parents signed up for the pact.
I’ve also spoken to the school’s headmistress, and we’re working with her to try to change the norms around the assumption that children will use smartphones or have access to them at a young age. She’s very much on board with the smartphone-free childhood message.
We’re trying to shift the norms around assuming that children will get these devices.
I also speak to my children about it. Since they were 6 years old, I’ve been talking to them about the reasons they’re not getting a phone. I know it will become more difficult as they age, but at the moment, they’re on board.
I’ve explained it’s not that I don’t want them to have a phone; it’s that I do want them to have a childhood, and I’m going to fight every inch to give them the childhood that they need.
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