Newsletter Thursday, November 21
  • I hate mixing my social life with my work life, so I avoid company social events.
  • Since I graduated during the pandemic, most of my schooling and work-life is virtual.
  • I like to maintain a separation between the two worlds because it feels more natural.

When I got the Slack notification about a social event at work, there was a little tug in my brain. I had an immediate, gut reaction of “no,” followed by a quick brainstorming session of possible excuses and believable illnesses I could fake.

It wasn’t a result of avoidance or disdain for my company or my coworkers; I’m fortunate to work with a wonderful group of people at an easygoing organization where I feel respected and valued. They’re a joy to collaborate with, and I genuinely appreciate my interactions with them — but only at work.

The prospect of mixing the work and social worlds gives me a headache. I can see myself in a decorated conference room washing down a catering taco with a lukewarm White Claw; I feel like my head could explode.

I can only speak for myself, but I think many Gen Zers my age would agree that we’re just not built to mix our work and social worlds. We’re wired differently, which I attribute to the strange context in which we began our careers.

Older generations mixed their work and social lives

My late grandfather on my mom’s side was a creative services director for State Farm. I grew up on stories of him and his work buddies gathering at that Playboy club in Chicago for cigars, steaks, and a shot.

When I was young, it wasn’t uncommon for my parents to come home late from a work social or happy hour. They both graduated from college in the early 90s and grew their careers over nearly two decades of boom time.

It was actually because of the relationship my dad developed with his boss that his job was saved, and we were spared the worst of the 2008 recession. So maybe I should eat my words.

But my schooling and job is virtual now

Gen Z is entering the workforce at a pivotal time. The pandemic obliterated the last two years of my college life — right as I had solidified my friend groups and was baby-stepping into building a network.

I graduated in 2021 when the world was still seemingly on hold. No one was hiring, so I freelanced. After a year, I did well enough to move out of my parents’ house. My current full-time job was offered to me through a long-term freelance partner, and I never formally interviewed.

All of the freelance work was also done remotely. Though I do go into the office a few times a month for my current gig, I am still primarily remote.

The end result is a natural barrier between work and my social life. Work exists on my laptop through emails, slack messages, and the occasional office visit. Though I sometimes wish it wasn’t the case, seeing it bleed into my social world can feel unnatural.

Building a social life at work is not my priority

I tell my dad that his company should sell all of its real estate, torch its branded blimps and company cars, and give everyone a raise. I do this mostly to get a rise out of him but also because I struggle with superfluous company spending of any kind, including after-hours social events.

For us Gen Zers, I’d argue that our unique upbringing has made us an efficient generation. We’ll work in the office if it makes us more productive, but can easily pivot to remote work to save money and commuting time. When remote work bums us out, we learn how to ballroom dance.

Gen Z likes flexibility. We are deeply conscious of the time economy. With so much time already dedicated to work, it can be hard to justify an extra few hours making a strained company small talk over loud music at a bowling alley or an escape room. I would rather budget that time at concerts with people I can swear around.

I would rather forge great work relationships through productive collaboration and great discussions. So, for the time being, I will avoid all company social events.

I work for my money but won’t work for a social life.



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