- After just three months of dating, I asked my new girlfriend to move in with me.
- I was so excited at first, but now I’m wondering if we are moving too fast.
- Although I’m nervous, I’m trusting love will lead the way.
Earlier this year, I asked a former colleague of mine to be my girlfriend, and she said yes. Apparently, the feeling of attraction and affection had been mutual since day one, and we’d brushed it off until that week in June.
Today, we’re a happy couple, and I couldn’t be more pleased with myself for taking that bold step. So far, we’ve experienced nothing but the ordinary joys and bliss of a fledgling romance — with each day and each tiny tiff bringing us closer and closer.
August marked our three-month anniversary, and I wanted to take the next step in our relationship. I decided to make a grand gesture and ask her to move in with me to my new apartment.
I’m now wondering if that was the right thing to do.
I immediately got excited about moving in together
She agreed to move in with me, and we were over the moon. For days, it was the only thing we talked about: planning, projecting, and dreaming. We were checking out furniture, art, appliances, and utensils online.
I was so engrossed in the prospect of sharing a home with the woman I love that I did not pause — even for a moment — to consider the full weight of that decision.
She’s only three years older than me, but she’s much more emotionally mature. She often considers big decisions and puts things into perspective before making a choice.
I, on the other hand, have never been in a relationship and get overly excited easily. Because of this, I didn’t consider the potential problems of moving in with someone so soon.
I spent the rest of August basking in and sifting through the thrill of my soon-to-be life, only to wake up one morning in September to realize that there’s more to cohabitation than comfort, sex, and the fun of companionship.
In reality, this decision is a lot more complicated
My biggest worry about moving in with my girlfriend is the fear of making a mistake that’ll be difficult to recover from.
I did everything in my power to keep my cold feet to myself, preserving the peace and tranquility. I was scared to have the mature conversation we needed to have because the peace was too great to ruin.
Perhaps there’s a remote connection between my sudden fear of moving in with the woman I love and the fact that we both haven’t told our families about our relationship because of cultural differences.
Keeping such information from our parents bears a far more discomforting effect on me than it does on her — perhaps for the simple reason that highly conservative parents raised me. I’m worried about taking this major step with a woman — who I could marry — without factoring my family into the equation.
Life can be both funny and difficult. We can be handed the things we have been chasing, only to find that we don’t know what to do with them. That’s where I’m at right now.
Thankfully, I finally worked up the courage to have the difficult conversation with her. We agreed to put off the move for the time being, but I am still terrified at the idea — even if it excites me, too.
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