Scrolling through my LinkedIn feed has become a daily ritual. Some days, I scroll to draw inspiration; some days, I search for answers. Watching women my age bag academic and professional accolades while being financially independent has become a fantasy for me.
Three years ago, I reached a remarkable academic milestone: I graduated from a prestigious university with a bachelor’s in social work. I was optimistic about securing a decent job with a great salary. I had it all well-planned and clearly journaled. Living a “soft life” and being independent was the ultimate goal.
I never thought unemployment would be part of my career progression. However, I have encountered countless experiences of recruiter ghosting, rejection emails, and short-term contracts — which have all contributed heavily to my financial insecurity.
Instead of the post-grad life I’ve dreamed of, I’m leaning on my family for support.
My father is responsible for my expenses and basic needs
I am two months away from reaching my late 20s, and I have not yet achieved most of my professional aspirations.
Recently, I stumbled on a huge financial crisis. I was struggling to pay off my debts and meet my personal needs. I had to hold an honest conversation with my father about how I was struggling because I was failing to secure a stable job with a constant flow of income. I have been writing freelance articles for international magazines and publications. I have had numerous financial gains from my youth work activities. However, due to the high cost of living, this has not been adequate enough to cater to all my needs.
Self-sufficiency has always been one of my greatest priorities, so initiating a conversation about my failures with my father as a graduate was quite difficult and uncomfortable — especially because my father paid for my college tuition and was in retirement for seven years.
He graciously offered to help me with money from his pension. Since then, my father has assisted me with his pension funds to cater to my upkeep and internet data expenses.
My father has always been a great anchor in my career progression, but this season has made me more appreciative of him. His constant calls and messages to check up on me, his sharing of work opportunities, and his effort to link me up with his network have shown how much he cares for me.
There’s a tremendous emotional burden of being a dependent daughter
Often, I have bore the emotional brunt of being the dependent eldest daughter of the family. I often feel distress, inadequacy, insecurity, and anxiety. I have dreams shelved in diaries. I feel like I’m trapped in a bubble with no way out.
Plus, this should be when I am repaying my father for all his sacrifices to help me become an educated young woman. But I can’t.
I am struggling with the unmet expectations of fulfilling societal pressures. I come from a culture where children are part of their parents’ retirement investment plan, so being financially unstable at my age is problematic for me.
My father should be fully enjoying his retirement in our rural home, but he is also constantly worried about my welfare. I know for a fact that he is always anxious about my academic and professional development.
I wish I could give him what he deserves.
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