I don’t mean to brag, but recently, while listening to parents talk about their never-ending back-to-school to-do lists, I turned to my husband and said, “I am so glad we don’t have to worry about any of that.”
I’ve been homeschooling my two kids for the last several years. While they both started out attending public school, the stress of putting two kids through the hoops of our school system was exhausting and anxiety-inducing.
Each year, as my friends complain about registration snafus or the amount of paperwork they have to fill out before their kids’ first day of school, I’m reminded of lots of reasons homeschooling was the best choice for my family.
I don’t feel pressure to keep up with the Pinterest moms
My kids started their school careers at age 2 in a private preschool. From there, they attended public school until my son completed sixth grade and my daughter finished fourth. Between the two of them, I went through 18 hyper-organized school years that included things like planning the perfect first-day-of-school outfit and printing the cutest signs for them to hold for back-to-school photos.
It was exhausting, and while some overachieving part of me still tried to commemorate the start of each new school year when we started homeschooling in 2020, I quickly dropped the mentality that everything needed to be documented for social media. These days, the first day of school happens uneventfully, usually with schoolwork completed in their pajamas and always without fanfare and photo shoots.
We can learn on our own schedule
Since we started homeschooling, I’ve found a curriculum that works best for my kids and let go of the need to accomplish every single thing daily. My kids are 14 and 16 now, starting their freshman and junior years of high school, and it is freeing to allow each of them to learn in their own way.
Unbound by state-mandated class loads and tons of homework, we check off the necessary boxes for them to graduate, but we also don’t sweat the small stuff. With a set of goals to complete each year before we meet with our homeschool evaluator — a credentialed teacher who reports back to our county board of education that we did everything required of us — we move at a more leisurely pace through the school year.
I really don’t miss all the permission slips and paperwork
When I think back to before we started homeschooling, I am filled with anxiety at recalling the stacks of paperwork and long lists of rules to learn from the school, each teacher, and every extracurricular activity. I could barely keep up each year, and the responsibilities only grew as my kids got older.
Now, I only report to myself (and, once a year, the state of Florida), and I love how back-to-school season approaches without emails from teachers, forms from the administration, and long lists of supplies to purchase. Homeschooling allows me to be my own boss, and I never feel overwhelmed by all the back-to-school to-do list items.
My kids have year-round friends without all the social pressure
As this year’s back-to-school season looms, I’ve heard mom friends complain about their kids not getting into classes with their preferred social circle. My kids’ friends post things on social media about how they dread the school year because they didn’t get the electives they hoped for or have an assigned lunch period where they’ll know no one. There’s a lot of pressure on kids and parents to engineer a school year to give them the best chance to have the perfect social standing in the school hierarchy.
Since starting to homeschool five years ago, my kids have found great groups of friends who are also homeschooled through community groups and theater programs. There isn’t the same pressure among the homeschool set to establish a “cool kids” friend group. I’m grateful my kids have a year-round group of friends who are also homeschooled and that it doesn’t change based on what their class schedule or extracurricular load looks like.
However, I’m still grateful for my kids’ public school days
Because of my introverted personality type and anxiety diagnosis, the public school grind took a lot out of me as a parent. My kids have inherited some of these traits, and I see them thriving in the relaxed environment homeschooling provides.
Still, I often talk to friends of younger kids considering homeschooling and tell them I don’t think I could have been a homeschool mom when my kids were younger. Preschoolers are exhausting, and early elementary-aged kids need structure. I doubt we’d have had as much success with homeschooling had my kids not been 10 and 12 when we started.
Though I found the back-to-school grind stressful as a young mom, I also relied on public school to teach my kids independence in their early years. I’m grateful we put in some years of organized schooling, and I wouldn’t change it, even though things like shopping for school supplies and filling out endless paperwork filled me with dread each year.
Homeschooling has given my family so much
Each year, as I plan out our homeschool curriculum, I ask both of my kids if they want to keep homeschooling or return to public school. What we’re doing works great for me, but it’d be selfish to keep them from an experience they wanted to have just to keep my anxiety levels lower. So far, my kids have said they love homeschooling and the opportunities it’s provided them, so we press on with in-home education.
There’s a misconception that homeschooled kids miss out on things like after-school activities and rites of passage like prom. That’s simply not true. Within our homeschool community, my kids have attended special dances, acted in musicals, taken art classes, and tried their hand at sports. Other than paperwork and stress, I don’t feel we’ve lost much by homeschooling.
What we’ve gained by homeschooling, however, has been invaluable to my family. Because we homeschool, we have more time to travel together as a family, and my kids have the unique opportunity to get laser-focused on things they’re passionate about while putting aside non-required school subjects they aren’t keen on. Our lives are more stress-free as a homeschool family, and I feel closer to my kids after spending so much time with them over the last few years.
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